Walking with nostalgia

Yesterday while going home I had decided I would write a post on my favorite actor Kunal karan kapoor but then I had to go to the VT for shopping and my mind changed. I mean Kunal is still a priority but this I just had to write this one. I had so many memories at this station during my teenage. Many of the best and most memorable journeys of my life have started from the VT station ticket counter.

As I was walking down the platform towards the ticket counter to meet my MAMA tejas it felt like AVANI was walking besides me like old time. The cute chubby version of avani(now a slim one) with a small ruck sack on her shoulder and flashing a bright smile that glittered in her eyes too on seeing me.(a slimmer version of me) We used to meet at VT station by 10.30 pm wait there for all to arrive by 11. Me and avani needed no topic to chit chat. The tight hug by which we greeted each other… I miss that. God only knows what topics we used to discuss but ya every treck had new addition of people so we used to be excited about meeting new people in today’s language new birds to watch. Hehehe ;) yesterday although I wondered did guys actually notice me then because I was a complete TOM BOY then. But who cares I had fun back then and even now when ever I go for trecks.

We used to catch a train for karjat from VT station which used to be full from VT as lots of local people commute daily from what seems far places to me like karjat and dahanu to VT for work. They still do and hats off to all those men and women for that. I cant travel like that for anything. The train got empty by dombivali and on dombivali boarded my 2^nd favorite person of those days (he still is one of my favorites) TEJAS MAMA. He is younger to me but still I call him MAMA (mother’s brother) and because of me everybody calls him that.

All the while in the train commute talking to avani or taking care of her was my task. I kind of took it as my unsaid responsibility to protect her as I was the elder one. That although did create some problems for guys but as far as me and avani are together nothing matters I guess. After getting down at karjat we either spent the night at a local chai walla shop or the bus stand or if nothing else was available at the railway platform. I miss those things as now the trecks have become more of money making business with all the bus facilities and all. Playing silly card games whole night at the railway station and cheating in the game and MAMA coming to my rescue was fun. I made some strong bonds that time without even intending to do so.

Morning have the tea and breakfast and start the treck with the prayer and introductions. Introduction was the time to concentrate to know your latest crush’s name. sorrieeee ;)

The most awesome part is of course the trecks. Walking in the woods with just a group of 5 or 6 people. There are some rules of the forests which you have to follow for your safety. But singing your favorite romantic songs admiring the nature is the best way to treck. nothing can be as healing as after a week of the stressful days in the city escaping in the laps of nature along with being in the company of your favorite people.

The last part is when you reach the top of the mountain it’s the feeling of achievement that fill you along with cold chilling breeze touching your skin. Its heaven for us. I miss all of it.

AVANI, TEJAS, KEVAL, VIMAL, SHRUTI THIS ONES FOR ALL U GUYS.

why i love kunal karan kapoor

Here's one article which is absolutely for a sole reason that I love this guy KUNAL KARAN KAPOOR since the time he played VARUN in Remix. He touched my heart back then and he touches my heart or rather my heart jumps when i see him even now. although he doesnt know but he was the reason i saw LEFT RIGHT LEFT as well. Although in NA BOLE TUM NA MAINE KUCH KAHAN i think the reason i connect with him is the reason that relations in our age have become really complex and in between all these complexities the undiluted love in the eyes of MOHAN for MRS.VYAS even after her being a widow is really heart touching. i guess there can not be one expression of KUNAL that i wont like. LOVE U KUNAL.

Why do we connect with a cinematic character, a film, a television series, a poem, a phrase? Is it because we find in them something that was unarticulated in us? A longing? A deep hurt with tangled roots that we cannot pull out? Anger and demons and darkness we are too afraid to face? A sense of vindication we somehow did not  get in real life? A desire that we never saw actualised except in wistful, unfinished dreams? Everytime something connects with us, it completes something, echoes something, answers something, heals something, stirs something.  Kunal Karan Kapoor’s Mohan Bhatnagar does almost all of the above in Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha, an unlikely love story between a crime reporter  and a grieving widow on Colours.
***
As a critic, I cannot bring myself to laugh at films or plays or television shows that make people laugh or cry or are entertaining in a cleansing way. Critiquing is one thing. Dismissing is another. And always, I ask this, “why did this work?” It is not always about intellect, technique, smarts. Sometimes, what works tickles the surface. Sometimes,  it goes deeper as during the days of contained entertainment when we watched rationed episodes of dramas like Hum Log and lived with those characters in our mind space and in those tacky sets. That show spoke to our fears, our concerns, our aspirations. For many of us, a show like Kavita Chowdhary’s Udaan for instance was about strength and giving a fitting reply to poverty and misfortune. Somehow that title song played in my head, everytime I commuted back from my university to home in the lonely days after my father’s death. It was the music of courage. Of hope. Of resilience.
***

That connect was lost as television grew up and we grew older. Films no longer dug deep. Television was loud, farcical and staged. And yet, a few nights back, as I chatted  with a Facebook friend about Kunal Karan Kapoor, late into the night, I realised that somehow a connect had been made not just with the obvious talent of this unstarry young fellow but what he represents. And what does he represent? That answer is different for every viewer who watches him but what surprises me is that in this age of vacuous, bulked up, pretty cardboard actors on TV, someone actually looked at him and saw Mohan Bhatnagar.

***

A character that is acquiring cult status steadily in Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha.  I am stumped that someone saw the actor in him. Hungry for a real part. A character that is not about staged glamour but about deeply felt pain, unspent longing, anger, courage, intense truthfulness and an emotional graph that grows, expands to become more and more not just about Mohan Bhatnagar but about us. He is someone we don’t really see in our milieu everyday, if ever. He is an idealist and yet, there is nothing self-righteous about him. He is a bad singer but loves Kishore Kumar. His shoe laces are never tied. He is short but walks tall and with a swagger and has inviolable self-belief whether he is being slapped, called names or being misunderstood and persecuted.

***

There is something heroic about him even though he looks like a boy- next- door and yet when he faces the camera, you know that no boy- next- door can be as mesmeric. And that brings me to that question. What does he speak to within us? Why are bloggers writing about him and girls writing breathless messages to his videos? And to think that someone saw all this lurking within him even before he had smiled that lazy, unfinished smile into the camera or looked at the woman he loves with eyes that seem to make dialogue redundant!  It is miraculous that someone saw what he would bring to Mohan Bhatnagar even before his gifts had manifested.And when you see the camera linger lovingly on a close up, taking in the carefully mussed hair, the eyes that grow silent and vociferous at will, you know that someone behind that camera knows just how good an actor he is and also that he has the gift of connection, yes, that word again, with those who act with him and also those who watch him.

***

His biggest gift is his ability to express something as  inexpressible as unalloyed love. The kind.. all of us look for and the day he returned to Juna Mohalla on his bike, giving a slanting, close mouthed smile to his pretty neighbour who just happens to be the love of his life, ruffled his own hair in an unspoken apology, hugged a little girl who is his friend and threw his head back to ask his stuff to be carried right back into his house, my best friend smsed me exclamations at midnight from Chandigarh. Really, who could have imagined someone with such subtle and understated charisma could inspire this kind of response?

***

His is a very well nuanced character. The flavoured nonchalance in the Hindi dialogue, the casual way he dresses, the stubble to hide how young and vulnerable he really looks, the hair at a careful length to frame his face, the slowly gymmed up frame, the real or fake tattoo on one shoulder, the arrogance with which he talks to his peers and his house help cum buddy and yet the gentleness and sensitivity at the sight of pain and loss be it in the life of a woman he is drawn to or in a lost little girl searching for a father figure or even better a Spider Man who appears at the tug of a bell.

***

What brings Mohan Bhatnagar to life however are not just these obviously well-thought out details but  his voice that really is as compelling  in its pauses as it is in unrestricted monologues. This boy can deliver a line and I have not seen or heard that happen in television or even in cinema in a long, long time. One of my favourite scenes  is when he is having a long chat with his ex girlfriend on the eve of her engagement with Megha watching on. Once the call is done, he is lost in something searing and painful within. He is knotted up  as if all the pain and hurt she once gave him is revisiting him and he must experience it all… once and for all, before he can move on. Or when he wants to know why Megha won’t let him go out of her life. There is longing and self-possession. Restraint and heedlessness. And it is just  a TV series for God’s sake and yet he is living each moment like his life depended on it and he is taking us right into the heart of his darkness and his light.

***

It surprises me just how much I notice when he does his thing. The way he draws his breath, frowns and the writer in me wonders again why he has registered after years of jaded TV watching. My reasons I realise are personal. He reminds me of Samir, the male protagonist of my book. When I envisioned him and wrote his stooping walk, slanting smile, caramel gaze and careless drawls, I had not seen Mr Kapoor and now if by some stroke of luck, the book ever becomes a film, I know who I will be chasing for a script reading. Yes, am smiling at the thought. That said, the series has been invested with thought, care, attention to detail and really good writing. And there is Kunal Karan Kapoor, Mohan Bhatnagar to many of us (and Monu to me and my best friend) who basically proves that magic cannot be predicted and can be found in the unlikeliest of places and people.

 

Source - http://unboxedwriters.com/2012/06/kunal-karan-kapoor-an-actor-arrives/

punchy proposal

Aayush woke up at his bed with a heavy head and hangover. His face was red with lipstick stains and his body was hurting due to the number punches he had got. He got up and started to walk towards the washroom and tripped off over his friend arjun who was lying down on the floor all drunk again. Aayush sat down on the corner of the bed and was trying to recollect what had happened last night and how the hell did he land up in this condition.

The last thing he remembered was that he was getting ready to go for the 31^st December party in his room at royal beach resort where they were staying in goa for the holiday. Then he remembered that it was only him and arjun in the room. He began to think where were the other guys. Immediately he went to the phone and picked it up dialed the extension number of the girls room nobody answered the call.

His mind was getting heavy again due to the questions. He called up the pantry to order a cup of black coffee and sat down against the wall of the bed. He called out ARJUN to wake him up. When arjun dint wake up he threw a pillow on him to wake him. Arjun woke up abusing aayush for the pillow blow.

The coffee had come aayush just gulped it down in a hurry as he badly wanted the headache to stop where as arjun was still lazing on the bed. aayush budged arjun and started bombarding him with question like

What happened last night?

Why am I in such a state (lipstick marks and punch marks together)?

What happened?

Where are hemant and benoy?

Where were the girls???

WHERE IS POOJA???

Answer me u bugger! Where is POOJA? What the hell happened?

All this while Arjun was just sitting on the bed and showing least interest in his questions. Then he got up and walked very lazily towards the bathroom and after what seemed like 20minutes he came out. Again in a lazy pace he came back and sat on the bed knowing that aayush was looking at him completely pissed off.

Arjun picked up the coffee and had a sip of it. It was still warm besides arjun dint have a hang over he was just delaying answering arjun’s questions because he wanted the curiosity to rise till the peak of panic.

Slowly arjun opened his mouth to answer and said

“hemant and benoy have gone back to MUMBAI along with the girls.”

Silence again.

This time arjun himself broke the silence by questioning “do you not remember anything?”

Arjun then started narrating the entire episode of last evening.

We went to the pub and had 1 vodka shots each. You where getting very hyper to propose pooja as soon as the clock strikes 12. In your nervousness you drank 5 vodka and 2 beers and were still pretending that you are fine while you were standing at the bar and watching her dance. I kept stopping you before each drink but “tu toh tu hai na. bada majnu ban ne k liye mare jar aha tha. Tuhje meri aawaz sunai kahan de rahi thi pooja k chakkar mei!” (you were in full mood of becoming a romeo while I tried stopping you before each drink you had, but you weren’t hearing me at all because you were busy staring pooja.

Aur phir toh tune had hi karr di (and then u crossed your limits.)

At 11.50 you went to the DJ took the mike and told him to stop the music and made an open announcement stating

“Miss pooja, the one whose wearing a red top and black skirt. Please come and meet me near the fountain as I wana tell you something very important and personal and I wana kiss you happy new year as the clock strikes 12.”

Then what half the people in the pub were drunk. Girl who were single rushed there to kiss you and guys who were drunk thought you were hitting on their girlfriend POOJA and they ran to hit you. And I guess some just came to smash you for free also. Arjun had a grin on his face.

The entire pub was a havoc. Bloody asshole you spoiled the entire new year of ours. We couldn’t even reach you in between all that rush and you were so drunk I don’t even know the count of girls u kissed. We had to call the guards to rescue you amidst the kissing girls and the hitting guys. Finally when we reached you, a girl was kissing you like crazy man and pooja saw it and just turned around as she couldn’t see the you in that state.

Benoy and I picked you up and brought back to the room. Pooja wished to go home so the hemant and benoy left with the girls and I stayed back because of you.

Aayush was listening with a shocked expression all of this. He wanted it to be the best new year by proposing to his friend POOJA and he messed it up. He felt horrified but the question was why did all this happen. To which arjun shouted out loud THERE WERE ALMOST 30 POOJA’S IN THE PUB U, IDOIT! POOJA IS A VERY COMMON NAME. ALMOST 20% GIRLS IN INDIA HAVE THE NAME POOJA.

Aayush innocently said in his defence “but I mentioned the girl with red top and black skirt”

Arjun snapped back “THE THEME FOR YESTERDAY WAS RED AND BLACK YOU JERK!!! “

Aayush immediately hit his head with his palm and said OH FUCK!!! I am an such an ass!!!

After sometime they got ready and left for Mumbai.

BACK IN MUMBAI

While pooja was very upset in the entire journey about all that episode she was also laughing inside at all the mess.

As soon as aayush reached Mumbai he called pooja and said sorry for like a million times on phone and requested to meet. They decided to meet next day at the college canteen after their last lecture.

Aayush was still rehearsing apologies while he entered the canteen and spotted pooja sitting in the corner seat instead of their usual seat.

He slowly approached her and tapped her shoulder pooja stood up faced him and before he could say a word

SLAP ON THE FACE

And before he could regain his posture

A KISS FOLLOWED.

After a while when when they parted the guys just jumped on aayush laughing and pooja just gave a shy but broad smile. J J J  

First love – girls side

I was in standard 7^th when I 1^st came across the feeling of skipping a heartbeat after looking at someone. My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest and fall in his hands.

Being a good girl I had never spoke to boys even though I studied in a co – ed school until the day I saw him. Vihaan!!!

Imagine someone who never knew anything about attraction getting magnetically pulled towards something which her mom has told her to stay away from. How does it sound. Funny, strange, right, wrong???

Mixed emotions.!!

1^st time in 7years of schooling my friend avani and me were not in the same class. We both had already sulked a lot over it in the summer vacation and finally we decided that recess time we would spend together. So as soon as the bell rang I rushed out of my class towards avani’s class and there he was at the door of avani’s class.

The 1^st words that came of my mind for the 1^st ever guy I liked were “ooh la la” accompanied with a broad and the brightest smile on my face. He was standing near the door chatting with his male pals and probably missed all of this (thank god for that) but as avani came to me the 1^st question was

Who is he? Never seen him before? Avani answered my queries that his name is vihaan and he was forever in our school only.

Of course my entire 20 minute recess went in staring at him occasionally and talking to avani. I felt all the more sad that I am not in avani’s class.

The next few days passed in admiring vihaan beauty. His complexion was fair, nice black hair cut into short the most awesomest smile and his lips were the high light of his face. Was well built not more then 5 feet 3 inches.

Avani kept on updating me that he was average in studies and good in elocutions. He played guitar and had also been elected as the class monitor. That was the time I started thinking he was way out of my league because probably he was one of the most popular guy in our batch and even though I was equally hot I never realized my worth till I graduated.

I know all the guys would love this part – after knowing that he is Mr.popular even a girl tries to take all the effort to come in his eyes and so did I. I started doing yoga and dieting (although it wasn’t needed) J.

Finally the day of my heart break came after a month when avani informed me that vihaan had a girlfriend.

I was shattered by the thought of it, obviously cursed that girl but at the same time I backed out. If he has a girl I don’t wana disturb their story.

That day I asked avani to introduce me to vihaan so that atleast I could be there in his life as a friend and so she did.

The more close I got to vihaan the more I fell for him, the more I admired god’s creation. Even though boys are not termed beautiful I loved each and everything about vihaan. His lips as I have already mentioned were yumm even more better when having a closer look, his eyes were light brown and kept me completely mesmerized in themselves, his touch was warm and smooth (I wished the handshakes never ended), his voice was like sweet melody to my ears, he had a sarcastically good sense of humour, he sung too good as well. There was nothing about him that I dint like and above all he was the 1^st guy or man in my life and my guru to teach me all double meaning talks and their meaning (even after a decade I call him GURU at times.)

1 year later

On the day of our class 7^th result I came to know that vihaan broke up with his girl I felt sad as he was sad but at the same time all my hopes got back in action.

THE INDIAN CINDRELLA STORY!

Once there was a girl named rajjo in a small village in Haryana. She was almost about to turn 18. Her parents were average classed farmers in the village. Rajjo was living her life peacefully. Helping her mother at home and father at the farms.

On the other side of the village was a boy called Shankar who was from a wealthy family in the village, spoiled brat but not bad at heart. His days passed by roaming around with his friends in the farms and fields. Self obsessed getting dressed.

One day rajjo came across shankar on her way to the fields. It was love at 1^st sight for shankar as he had never come across this feelings of wanting to care and protect someone but after seeing her the 1^st feeling that shankar felt was that he wants to protect her till his last breathe. For the self obsessed shankar for the 1^st time he found someone else more better looking than himself. He had decided that moment itself that no matter what he will marry this girl only. Then onwards Shankar started collecting information about rajjo. Gradually Shankar started waiting on the path that rajjo used to take for her fathers farm. Slowly even she started observing him. Then they started exchanging smiles.

One day while rajjo was on her way to her father’s farms shankar stopped her in mid way. They both smiled at each other and Shankar just asked her “shadi karegi mujhse” (will you marry me).  Rajjo just smiled and looked down. After a few minutes which were equal to an eternity for both their eyes met. They both had the same sparkle in their eyes. Still smiling she walked away to her farms.

Gradually they started conversing, rajjo met Shankar at the same place where he proposed her daily and they walked together for 5 minutes on the same path and parted off. Shankar knew soon that they had to run away from the village to live a peaceful life. As their families won’t agree of this union. He spoke to his mom and her reaction told him clearly that his decision was correct. Rajjo did the same and got the same answer. They decided to run away after a week of rajjo turning 18.

At the decided date rajjo performed her daily chores and left for the farms. So did Shankar and they met at the bus stop outside their village. From there they peacefully left the village never to return back because they knew they would be killed if they returned.

While they were trying to live a peaceful married life in the city of Delhi back in their village rajjo’s family was facing miseries of being abandoned by their community and constant threatening by shankar’s family. Shankar’s father being rich guy had his contact’s in the local police and nobody dared to tell them anything. The police helped him harassing rajjo’s father instead.

1 phone call to rajjo’s mom after 3years gave away their location like a cindrella’s shoe and rajjo and Shankar suffered the fate worst then all. They got brutally murdered at their home in delhi and their kid was thrown in a garbage bin for the crows to feed on.

That’s the fate of love in India even in the 20^th century. Girls in the cities wish to have a cindrella story so that the can find their charming prince and in India even after getting their prince charming the get murdered and separated due to religious issues and false prestige of the families. Shame on such a prestige.

At times i feel if only i could get someone who loves me so dearly that i could love him back equally and in reality when these girls did get their prince their lives got over because of some morons. Why do we still prefer war over love when in reality there are so many lonely souls waiting for love to if not shower in their life's just drizzle a bit.

INSPIRED BY THE 3^RD JUNE EPISODE OF SATYAMEV JAYATE.

   

bhaiya zara mayonnaise thik se daalna...

1^st june 2012 - Friday.

Me being in a hopelessly lazy mood at times when I wake up so I dint make my lunch and went to office. After a lot of naatak(confusion) wether to order at office or to go out for lunch I finally called up a friend from the office next to mine to ask if she could come out for lunch and to my good luck she also dint get her lunch! (like minded people bond well very fast I tell u!!!)

So we headed to Pheonix mills(a shopping mall at lower parel, Mumbai) to have lunch. It was my choice to eat at Mac Donalds and we went in right away. I was unaware of the Mac lunch meals etc but was pleasantly surprised n so both me and my friend Mansi ordered for 1 MAC VEGGI MEAL each. The eating part was yummmmm of course and I wont go into it because almost every young boy or girl knows the taste and why we all are for crazy for it. The interesting part comes later when I walked out of Mac to order a TAKE AWAY meal for a collegue.

There was not much queue in the Take Away section now as compared to the number waiting while we entered Mac D. There was just one female standing b4 me and I thought “thank god, it will get over quick!” (because I was already out of office for above an hour and wanted to hurry back). But fate was going in a different.

The lady standing ahead of might be in her 40’s and probably new to Mac D culture. She ordered 1 Mac veggi burger large meal with coke without ice which she repeated herself for 3 times and 2 Mac veggie burgers alag se (separately or I guess she meant just the burgers) and 1 paneer wrap. All of this she repeated thrice each.

Then she asked the guy at the counter to repeat the order and then crossed checked each of it again. Now comes the high light BHAIYA MAYONAISE THIK SE DAALNA!!! 

What????

Think u dint read it properly?

No u read it absolutely correct!!!

She said Bhaiya mayonnaise thik se daalna to a order guy at Mac D. Your not wrong even the guy taking the order misunderstood and so did we all who were standing at the queue there where 4 people behind me and of course my friend Mansi who was waiting for me.  The Mac D order guy tried confirming by saying “extra mayonnaise, right”

The lady said –yes

MacD guy – mam tat wud cost extra 30.

Lady – (on phone extra 30 rupees bol raha hai!) yes all dis repeating 3 times was bcoz she was taking the order herself from some one at the phone.

I suppose the person at the other end might have denied paying extra 30 bucks as the lady just hubly replied

Nai bhaiya extra nai sirf aap jo normal mayonnaise daalte ho na who hi thik se daal na!

All this while my patience was at test as I was already in a hurry to reach back office to be made to go through all these drama. All of us were making fun of the lady in amongst ourselves even I was looking at Mansi and giving funny looks. Finally she was gone and I placed my order. But after all of this got over a thought struck me.

She was just a person who was new to this culture or probably a mom taking a parcel for her kids who are probably like me and u who like Mac D. I don’t know whom was she taking the parcel for but then everything has a 1^st time for every person. I remember how I fumbled in my school days due to lack of confidence to speak to a teacher in English even though that’s probably the language that I was learning everyday for almost 10 years. So HATS OFF to all those people who try getting into a new culture or try learning new things even at an age of 40 or 50.

After all life is a continuous learning process right!