Now that your gone

I never thought this would happen to me or our family. Feared death but never thought it would hit u above all of us and that too in such a sudden way. Read about accidents but never thought i would loose you in one. Now your gone in a car accident that too in a fraction of minutes and without saying goodbye to any of us and we all are shattered. None of us know how to live without a father or a grandpa and above all now i know how precious you were for mom. Now your not at home and i long for someone to irritate me over my cooking and to hear someone tell mom to come with him for morning walks. How do i explain HEER and KAAVI that DADA would never take them out again. I wanted to say a lot of things but now your gone. Your gone and so is your smile and laughter. God wanted to show us how much respect you have earned in the outside world thats good but the way he chose to show us was wrong. Slowly all your things would also be given away to others no matter how much i dont want to give them away nobody would listen. Looking at mom alone at this age i wish god would have taken me but not you. She needs a partner a companion more then anything at this age. Where did i go wrong what sins did i for god to punish me like this. In every prayer i wished for everyone's safety and now it feels god never listened to any of them. Everyone says to remain strong but nobody says how? The shelter the roof the protection of a father is gone and now i feel so vulnerable and volatile. Am just blank without you. There's loads to talk but your not there.